Paging Dr. McDreamy.....Stat!

About a week ago, in the midst of training/move-in/life madness,  I started breaking out because I was a little stressed out...no biggie! I went to bed one night looking fine and woke up the next morning with half of my face swollen, blotchy and really hard! It looked gross and I tried to keep it covered up with make up which didn't help the healing process.  I hadn't yet been to a doctor in Chicago and was new to the whole "pick your own doctor" process with Blue Cross so I resorted to what I know best: television!

Television is where all true knowledge comes from, right? Want to learn how to solve a homicide? Easy: CSI. Want to learn how to survive in the outdoors? Easy: Jeff Irwin (Ooooh, too soon?)

For the last seven seasons I've prided myself on being an avid Grey's Anatomy follower. Not only have I learned about navigating hospital romance, why not to cut an LVAD cord and how to perform open heart surgery, but I've also learned the in's and out's of successfully negotiating a hospital merger. However, what Grey's didn't teach me was how to pick a doctor with a PPO (oh, how I miss Kaiser) and what to actually do to get help!

As if Grey's Anatomy were not enough to validate my expert medical opinions, I consulted with my personal medical assistants: WebMD  and Youtube. Now, repeat the following phrase with me: NEVER AGAIN. I learned way too much inaccurate information, freaked myself out and am never allowed to self diagnose again.


To make a long story short, saw a bad doctor, got some antibiotics and was referred to a hospital for "facial drainage".  Yay!


In true Sophie fashion,  I was totally freaking out the entire day before my procedure.  Not only have I never been put under anesthesia, but I've watched way too many shows on TLC like, "Anesthesia Gone Wrong," or "Lies Your Doctor Told You" to be at ease with a medical procedure. (Disclaimer: These show's aren't actually aired on television, and I'm too young to be sued by TLC).  I also really just wanted to be home with my family because they always make everything feel better! But any who, I learned that I'm lucky to work with people who care just as much as family! My supervisors went to the hospital, stayed the whole time and have continued to check up on me.


But back to the fun parts.......

My day began at 6:00am:


Yes, I got dressed in the whole hospital get up: form fitting, one size fits all gown, hair net and stylish feet booties. Now, let me throw out this fun fact for you. Little did you know that when you go in for surgery they ask you to remove any nail polish that you may have on so that they can monitor the color of your skin pigmentation under your nails. Sounds great, right? Well, I found the loop hole! If you ask once, just once, "do I really?" you will immediately be asked if you just got a manicure and pedicure because if the answer is "yes" then "you'll be fine". Great! I'd hate for my $60 mani/pedi to be money wasted in order to SAVE MY LIFE :)

I had a lot of time to contemplate the mixed messages associated with the health care system and their care for my mani/pedi while waiting for my doctor who was running 2 hours late. No big deal! Not like I was freaking out, or had been fasting or was generally in a bad mood or anything.

When it was finally time to get wheeled away, I was a HOT MESS!!! Cried my eyes out and I'm pretty sure the nurses knew that I was going to need much more than a sticker and a lollipop at the end of all of this.  I remember being wheeled away, moved on to the operating bed in the frigid cold meat locker of a surgery room and the nurse telling me she was going to start anesthe....zzzz. Yep, it happened that fast! I don't remember a thing other than waking up in the recovery room 35 minutes later, looking up at the nurse and saying, "So tell me how the general clinic here works-Can I schedule just a check up or do you not do that?". Yes, I over analyze even in my anesthesia induced sleep!

I got some lovely takeaways from the hospital including a follow-up appointment next week, antibiotics, pain medications and this lovely bandage on my face which my supervisor offered to bedazzle. Yes, they know me ALL TOO WELL :)